I guess it all depends on the goal, if one want realism the outlines are a big no but for illustration-sake it actually doesnt matter if there are outlines or not. Being able to work effectively with a minimal outline isnt something coming to you within a few days, weeks or month, allthough there are exceptions to that rule. I'm currently 'struggling' myself to soften outlines and while there are many benefits to that approach it is my personal belief that being able to illustrate through the usage of hard outlines, as in this drawing, is as valuable as any other tool in an artists toolbox. I really like the idea of being more versatile opposite specialism.
I really do not care to much about the realism in this particular drawing as to me the drawing itself is quite wonderful, I really like it a lot. In fact I do think its good enough to consider it a finished impression of another drawing, worthy enough even to put on display somewhere, I like it that much.