Are you using different leads? The softer leads will give you much darker tones. I think you've executed the Fringe star quite well, your proportions are just off a little. For example, the hair on the right side of her forehead hangs a little lower, covering more of her forehead where you have just a little more of her forehead exposed. Also, her nose seems slightly too long in your drawing and maybe more shading is needed between her eye and brow. Just the smallest things like that will make your drawing look off, but her shirt, I think, is spot on. Have you ever used the grid method? It may help you with your proportions.
Love the LOTR drawing! You really captured the eeriness!
Thank you! I did use different leads. It looks a little light because of the flash. This was the first drawing I tried a grid but it wasn't exact to begin with. Thanksbforbthe feedback though. I see exactly what you mean.