[fesun]

Would like some critique/advise since im a perfectionist, im far from happy with it and want to know how to improve it/make the next one better

 

[jordancorey]

It looks ok to me, I would suggest putting in darker area to make it stand out more. When I draw with charcoal pencils, i use a light one and a dark one. The light one I use for the shading as this is softer and I can blend it in easy. I use the dark one for really dark areas. I also use a paintbrush to blend in with and a rubber for the highlights. Hope this helps.