Work in progress - critique? [Archive] - Artist Forum

: Work in progress - critique?


Sarah
05-13-2013, 05:53 AM
Ok, sorry about the color o.O
But here's a WIP of what im currently working on.
Critique would be appreciated.
http://i40.tinypic.com/28c1yyr.jpg

Here's the ref that im using.
http://neensmarketing.com/images/kids/Hapa_sm.jpg

I know it doesnt look exactly the same but im still practicing as you can see :)

Sarah
05-13-2013, 07:18 AM
Another wip -
http://i41.tinypic.com/2vxpx0g.png

corydulos
05-13-2013, 09:21 AM
I know it doesnt look exactly the same but im still practicing as you can see :)

Okay....let's try something different: since you say you know it doesn't look exactly the same, obviously you recognize some difference. What difference do you see?

Sarah
05-13-2013, 09:30 AM
Okay....let's try something different: since you say you know it doesn't look exactly the same, obviously you recognize some difference. What difference do you see?

Well i can see on the original that the head is tilted a tiny little bit, and the one i drew, the right eye is a little tilted. But I've already finished it now haha.
http://i41.tinypic.com/bdqijp.jpg

corydulos
05-13-2013, 01:44 PM
Okay, then ley's try this: http://i41.tinypic.com/bdqijp.jpg http://neensmarketing.com/images/kids/Hapa_sm.jpg

'Exactness' is not the issue; the operative question is, do both of these pictures look like the same girl? How about even the same nationality?

But in lieu of sounding nebulous or Confucius-like, here are some hotspot issues:
proportion...the drawing nose looks smaller, more narrow which makes her look more Anglo-Saxon. and her
Eyes also communicate 'blue' or green rather than the rich, dark hazel of the original pic...but that's largely because...
when drawing a skintone on white paper, after a certain shade, every mark looks like a "blemish" or crud, such as...
those squiggly lines around her upper lip which you intended to be pouty wrinkles. It looks cute on the girl, but ghastly in the drawing. You probably would have been better off not drawing them, along with lightening the shadows of her chin muscles.
Note how significantly bushier her eyebrows are, how longer yet thinner her eyelashes are and (more importantly) the corner of her eyes closest to the ears (again, of your drawing) tilt up, but the original's tilt down.


Differences like these are small, but separate a good likeness from merely a good effort.

Sarah
05-13-2013, 04:23 PM
@corydulos - So are you saying it's bad? I know there are alot of differences from the original, but i'm still practicing.

corydulos
05-13-2013, 05:56 PM
@Sarah...you know you are a very talented artist and, as Doc chanda says, this drawing is very charming in its own right. (true) Critiquing is not about tearing someone down but offering possible insights and pointers by which the object of the critique may gain valuable information with which to produce improved future performance. Inflating your ego with unmerited praise or genuine compliments while failing to identify areas needing attention and ripe for improvement would not serve your path to growth.

No one is saying the drawing is bad.

Maybe I just don't know what you're really asking for. I'm a nice guy and I believe I have a gift for and a love of encouragement. Sometimes things 'sound' different when reading online because you don't get to hear the tone of voice someone intends to communicate with. And this is (https://www.artistforum.com/graphite-drawing/portrait-girl-2-a-3233/) still my favorite of yours e-vah! :)

George924
05-13-2013, 10:25 PM
“Work in Progress” a pencil drawing on paper with formatting in the positioning of a landscape by Sarah in the year of 2013. This portrait piece has three key essentials of making up the composition, face, hair and background. These three elements will be further explored to find the true composition and makeup of the “Work in Progress” piece. The face is featured with all of the known traits of a human face that captivates the viewer by the eyes and is set into the piece by being slightly larger than one would come to expect, but does not give off the feeling that is it in form of a comic book character. This was meant to be done on purpose in order to bring a bit more detail and focus of the eyes. The triangulation in regards of the mouth and nose works very well with the flow of the piece by emphasizing the mouth and slightly ignoring the nose in order to have a nice framed flow. The rendering of the hair into the background on the right side of the piece is brilliant, the viewer really does not know where one begins and the other ends. The wispy strands of hair make the believability of being there with the child as they have the desire to reach out and pull back some of the strands that lay on the forehead. The background consists of a tonal value of being really dark in the lower right corner that looks to be a shadow. I would call this piece symmetrical as for the split of the two halves seem to be balanced out rather nicely in this composition.

“Work in Progress” primary design makeup is the chiaroscuro of light and dark meeting at the right side of the child’s face in the third vertical position with most of the flow being in a vertical direction to meet with a diagonal angle of about forty-five degrees in which further allows for the flow and capturing of the viewers attention back into the face. The connection between the background value and the eyes are what delivers this piece and ties it all together. The viewer is forced to bounce of the extreme darkness of the hair and shadow that points back into the eyes, while the flow continues around the faces edge that is made up of hard and soft edges. The highlights are left to captivate the viewer in two areas, the primary highlight is in the eyes and the secondary highlights are on the nose and chin, in which works perfectly together as it hold your attention long enough to realize that there is more top the piece but still always coming back to this area of light.

At first glance “Work in Progress” may appear as slightly amateurish and especially looking at the photo reference. The simply complex composition dictates otherwise, very bold and harsh darks against the lights compare to Rembrandt mastery of light at darks, and the captivation of the eyes that keep a viewer interested in the piece in a way that it is hard to focus on the rest of the piece. True that this piece was actually rendered by an artist learning the way around the medium and the proportions of the face, it speaks volumes of what has been achieved with critiques previously given to other drawings. Sarah has taken the advice of others and has grown in many ways with only a few pieces that has been done up to this piece and has shown the willingness to push what is comfortable and explore other ideas.

“Work in Progress” is by far anyone’s idea of a masterpiece, but I would call it, “A masterly done piece” of learning and exploring the human face. Sarah has stretched the limits of being comfortable to find knew techniques, styles and compositions. “Work in Progress” is one of those pieces that will be looked upon as a key element in the learning process of portraiture and will be the piece every other portrait is based upon. Regardless of the true likeness of the photo reference this pencil drawing stands on its own merits and is well worth taking the time to get lost and explore the learning process that is being demonstrated here by the artist…

corydulos
05-13-2013, 11:12 PM
I'm usually not speechless, but, darn, George924!

In tribute to you (not speechless after all), I..but not this thread.

Suffice to say, what an awe-inspiring, handsome tome of generous verbosity you've wrought here!

joeygn72
05-14-2013, 05:34 AM
Hey Sara, I personally can't give advice on anything anyone has done I'm not good at all. I'll leave the critiquing to others more suited for that role. Here is what I do see. I've gotten on the forum the last few days with only a little bit of time because of starting school and viewed your picture of tanned girl(I really hope that was yours or I'm going to feel stupid)....
I see some improvements over Tanned girl and the latest picture you posted.. I really like both of them and I love seeing people put up new work.. Critiquing is a double edged sword,on one hand you know in the long run it IS going to help. On the other hand it's kinda hard to hear critiques especially when if you're like me you put all your energy,love and care into a drawing.

Keep drawing,keep posting those drawings and keep accecpting those critiques as bitter as they may feel. Every great artist needed direction and guidance.

Sarah
05-14-2013, 10:40 AM
Thank you all so much for your comments!!
And George, im also speechless. That comment was awesome. I apprecite it! I can safely say im learning from each piece of art and critique you guys give me. I apprecite everything!